Are you Divorce Intended?

Before making any decisions read Practical Considerations in divorce.

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Are you divorce intended?


Are you questioning your marriage and facing the dilemma of divorce?  

You may be the spouse who is trying to decide should you stay or should you go.    A parent's decision to divorce is a long thought-out process made after much deliberation and soul searching.

When one parent states they want a divorce a common question from the other parent is ‘what about the children’.  Thinking about how divorce will impact your child is a valid concern.  

Divorce brings about many changes for everyone-especially for your child.  Your child’s world is changing at an emotional, physical and possibly financially level. This is especially true when one parent moves out, relocates and/or resides with a new spouse.


Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.  ~Leo Tolstoy

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Are you seeking emotional support for divorce and custody and issues?



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Exchange observed in a parking lot late Sunday afternoon.

Mom parks in a medical building parking lot.   A few minutes later, dad arrives.  

Upon his arrival mom steps out of the car and opens the back door for their 5-year-old child.  Mom hugs child.

As child walks around to  greet dad;  Mom opens the trunk and removes a bag leaving the trunk open.  

Mom hands bag to dad at the side of the car without making eye contact.  As mom closes the trunk she lingers as if waiting for something or someone before moving to open her car door to leave.  

Dad hops into car and pulls out. Mom sits in car for a moment before driving off.  

There seemed to be NO conversation between the parents.  This young child seemed to go with the flow and switched cars like a well rehearsed move.  

Should this parent


Would you like to have a voice in the Family Court system? We want to know more about how the courts handled your child custody and child support issues.  This is a place to share your experience with the Family Court system!

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False allegations in Family Court:

Who is to blame?

April 11, 2016          by Ruth A. S. Nichols, M.A., M.A., CFLE p................       Posted in Articles    

In family court a subset of parents has the reputation for crying wolf, indicating a cry of urgency. In Aesop’s fable of “The Boy Who Cried Wolf” there were severe consequences for crying wolf. In Family Court, that is not the case.


In the fable, a shepherd boy repeatedly tricks the village people into believing a wolf is attacking his flock of sheep. Eventually, when a real wolf comes, the villagers do not believe him and fail to come to his aid. The boy suffers the ramifications of his actions and is eaten by the wolf.


The consequences for parents who ‘cry wolf’ in Family Court is less clear.  ..........................................................................................................................







A commentary on the Shared Parenting Myth

February 27, 2016 by Ruth A. S. Nichols, M.A., M.A., CFLE p

Posted in Articles

Recently, New Jersey Family Law Attorney Santo Artusa authored a Lexis-Nexis article, arguing against shared parenting.  Certified Family Life Educator Ruth Nichols obliterates that myth and schools Mr. Artusa. This is from his article and argument against shared parenting:

Seemingly, Mr. Artusa, the convenience issue is paramount to equal time with both parents and the healthy development of children.

My commentary is directed to Mr. Artusa:

Dear Mr. Artusa,

With all due respect, The Shared Parenting Myth is somewhat remiss. Shared Parenting is not the problem in divorce and separation; Shared Parenting is the Solution!...................................


What does a child say about divorce?

When 4-7 year-olds were asked  what do you want lawyers or judges to know, to make divorce easier or better for families and children?

Here are there responses:

 "If mom and dad lived next to each other we could just walk over."€

"Say this to moms and dads:  Do you love each other? And then they have to say yes, and then give them some chances (not to divorce).€"

"Please make it so they could try to get along.€"

"Tell mom and dad to marry someone else.  Two divorced people should've married someone else from the beginning."€

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To the Better Parent: How your child perceives divorce  

p.s. The best parent is BOTH parents

Most parents want the very best for their children. Right? Like all rules, there are exceptions. Unfortunately, in these cases, the child pays the price.

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