Research!

Sibling relationships are an integral part of the family. Bonds between siblings should be considered in court rulings and efforts should be made to maintain continuity in this special relationship.

Gaining insight into the sibling attachments can be useful in understanding how siblings interact. Mindfulness that one sibling may have a unique relationship with another sibling can help in making decisions that can ease the adjustment process with divorce and parental separation. 

Here are important points to consider with when making parenting plans and post divorce arrangements shared from:  

The Forgotten bonds: The assessment and contemplation of sibling attachment in divorce and parental separation

1.  Siblings

• Sibling relationships can impact social adjustment in some children.
• Do two siblings have a close relationship?
  • A close relationship among siblings may indicate a need to keep children on same schedule in order to maintain the emotional support one child may provide to their sibling.
• Does another sibling provide the emotional or physical needs of one sibling?
• Does a close or hostile relationship exist among siblings?
  • Consider splitting custody if conflict exists
• Does one sibling provide family care-taking tasks?  How could this influence the family dynamics?
• Developmental challenges or medical difficulties of siblings and impact on the sibling relations
  • Evaluate psychiatric and medical issues for each child within context of parental and sibling relationships

Sibling attachment style

• Attachment style can impact adjustment to custody situations.
• Consider the ramifications if there is a change in the caretaking schedule

2.  Parent-child relationships and care taking

Respect the parent’s relationship with each child

• Does one parent have a closer relationship with one child?
• Is one parent-child relationship problematic?
• Is one parent more involved with one child
  • Either same gender or increased responsibility with one child
  • Based on sports or extracurricular activities, e.g. if one parent coaches the child’s team

3.  Ages and gender of siblings

Think about age and age differences when creating parenting plans

• A younger child may need more or less frequent visits.
• An older child may require a different schedule due to extracurricular activities.

4.  Family factors

What are the siblings’ and parents’ expressed preferences regarding the post-separation care taking situation? Perhaps eve more importantly, what is the motivation s behind these expressed preferences?

• Does fear, or loyalty to one parent or a sibling impact a child’s perspective to custody arrangements?
• Gain insight as to WHY a preference is made.  A younger child may base a decision that differs from an older sibling.

5.  History of parents

Parental relationship

• Is there a history of parental conflict, visitation resistance, and capacity of parents to present a positive image and relationship between their children and the other parent.
• Conflict and hostility between parents can impact child’s experience and adjustment
• Siblings may have differences in opinion on the divorce and alignment with one parent over the other
  • Differences may create strain in among siblings

Post separation relationships

• How do new romantic relationships impact the child
• Remarriage and introduction of half-siblings can create challenges
• How do the sibling relationships factor into the new situation for a child 

THE FORGOTTEN BONDS: THE ASSESSMENT AND CONTEMPLATION OF SIBLING ATTACHMENT IN DIVORCE AND PARENTAL SEPARATION.  Family Court Review, volume 49, Issue 1, pages 46–58, January 2011.  David M. Shumaker^1,*, Christopher Miller¹, Carolyn Ortiz¹, Robin Deutsch^{2 Article first published online: 18 JAN 2011.}

^{Ref # 17
DOI: 10.1111/j.1744-1617.2010.01352.x}